You’re Not Alone: Everyone Has a Story
We all have stories—some light, some heavy, some so deeply buried we forget they’re even part of us. But trauma has a way of surfacing, often in the most unexpected ways. It can show up in your parenting, romantic relationships, work, or even how you talk to yourself when you make a mistake.
If you’re a parent striving to break cycles, a memoir lover who sees their reflection in others’ stories, or a self-help seeker who’s tired of carrying invisible scars, this is for you.
At Change with Dane, we understand the weight of trauma. More importantly, we know how powerful healing can be with the proper support. Through Individual Counseling, trauma, or couples therapy, we help clients not just survive but truly thrive.
What Is Trauma?
Trauma isn’t always dramatic or violent. It’s not always one defining event. Sometimes, it’s a slow burn. It can be the result of:
- Childhood neglect or emotional absence
- Divorce or parental conflict
- Living with someone who struggles with addiction or mental illness
- Repeated emotional invalidation
- Community or generational trauma
- Religious trauma or systemic oppression
You may not have the “worst” story, but if your nervous system felt unsafe, your trauma is valid.
Trauma changes how the brain processes safety, trust, and memory. It rewires your survival system to be alert, even when the danger is long gone. You might be constantly on edge, numb, reactive, or disconnected—and wonder why.
The Myth of Toughing It Out
We live in a society that praises self-sufficiency. “Keep going.” “Man up.” “Don’t be so sensitive.” These messages discourage us from seeking help, even when we’re drowning.
But healing doesn’t come from ignoring pain—it comes from facing it, safely and slowly. Trauma doesn’t go away just because you pretend it’s not there. If anything, it gets louder.
At some point, self-help books and motivational podcasts stop being enough. You need a person. Someone trained to help you connect the dots, regulate your emotions, and feel whole again. That’s where trauma counselling comes in.
Individual Counselling: Healing Begins With You
Individual counselling offers a deeply personal healing journey. This one-on-one relationship between you and your therapist provides:
- A space where nothing is “too much”
- The chance to explore childhood patterns and emotional wounds
- Practical coping strategies you can apply daily
- A mirror to help you see yourself more clearly—and compassionately
Our therapists at Change with Dane work collaboratively with you. We don’t offer cookie-cutter solutions. We honour your pace, your history, and your goals.
Individual counselling can begin breaking generational cycles, especially for parents. When you heal your inner child, you show up differently for your actual child.
What Makes Trauma Counselling Unique?
Not all therapists are equipped to handle trauma. Trauma-informed therapy ensures that the treatment itself doesn’t re-traumatise you. It’s structured, safe, and paced according to your readiness.
Here are some of the evidence-based methods used in trauma counselling:
- EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing): Helps the brain reprocess disturbing memories.
- Somatic Experiencing: Focuses on body awareness and nervous system regulation.
- Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT): Teaches how to challenge negative thought patterns.
- Internal Family Systems (IFS): Explores different “parts” of the self that form to cope.
- Narrative Therapy: Helps you rewrite your personal story from a place of strength.
Each of these approaches offers a pathway back to yourself.
When Relationships Hurt: The Role of Couples Therapy
Even when only one partner has experienced trauma, both feel its ripple effects. Couples may find themselves stuck in unhealthy dynamics such as:
- Constant conflict or stonewalling
- Emotional distance or withdrawal
- Lack of intimacy and trust
- Power struggles or control issues
Couples therapy provides a neutral space to unpack these issues. It fosters empathy, teaches effective communication, and restores emotional safety.
At Change with Dane, we often help couples understand how trauma responses—like hypervigilance or shutting down—aren’t personal attacks, but protective mechanisms. Once this is clear, healing becomes a shared journey, not a battleground.
What a Counselling Session Actually Looks Like
There’s a lot of mystery around therapy, especially if you’ve never tried it. Here’s what you can typically expect:
- Intake Session: You share your history and goals.
- Trust-Building: Sessions feel like conversations, not interrogations.
- Skill-Building: You’ll learn tools for anxiety, flashbacks, or emotional flooding.
- Trauma Processing: Only when you’re ready, and always with care.
- Ongoing Support: Healing isn’t linear. Some days you’ll feel great; others, not so much. That’s okay.
Therapy isn’t about “fixing” you—it’s about uncovering the strength and wisdom you’ve always had.
Self-Help vs. Professional Help: Knowing the Difference
Self-help books, podcasts, and memoirs are valuable, but not enough. They offer insights but not interaction, and they can’t tailor strategies to your history, triggers, or nervous system.
Professional trauma counsellors:
- Help you safely explore painful memories
- Teach you how to regulate emotions in real time
- Offer accountability and structure
- Track your progress and adjust the plan as needed
- See the patterns you might miss
There’s no shame in needing help. It’s one of the bravest things you can do.
A Note to Parents: Your Healing Is Their Inheritance
One of the most beautiful reasons to seek therapy is for your kids. When you begin to heal, your children benefit in profound ways. Here’s how:
- You respond, not react
- You model healthy emotional expression
- You create a home filled with safety, not fear
- You rewrite generational patterns
At Change with Dane, we’ve seen time and time again: when a parent heals, the entire family shifts. The ripples of that work stretch across generations.